Whaley Search – Emerging Persons of Interest
Subject: Whaley – Known to be a very happy (despite being blue) mammal, socially outgoing, drinks a lot (but never to excess), is chatty (in a spouty and whaley song kind of way), likes to travel, makes a big splash in large groups and loves giving rides.
Last seen frolicking happily in front of the Beach Bash backdrop at the Hilton Resort and Spa on the Saturday night.
Persons of interest:
“Guttermouth” Goosey Rivers
Cruise Director in 2016 (and will be back in 2017), was suspiciously seen riding the Whale with abandon (how surprising) in the Ballroom on the last night of the comp but claims just to be a close friend of Whaley. Says in her defense, quote “**#@^!!!^& I am innocent **&^%!!%**”
“Bad Boy” Brodie Kaster
“Bad Boy” Brodie states he is a fun loving person and that he cannot have been responsible for Whaleys disappearance because he was not at Beach Bash in 2016 (but will be back as a Cruise Director in 2017).
Note: Very suspicious because it is common knowledge that anyone who is any fun at all was at the Beach Bash in 2016!!!
Bruce the shark
Seen loitering suspiciously around the ballroom with a singular lack of discernible intent during the weekend. Was observed swimming erratically through the air and bumping into walls and lights (claims that was due to Ani his handler). When asked, he confirmed that he may have had a drink or two that night but cannot to recall what happened after 10:30pm and so is not responsible for anything that might have occurred subsequently (Note: sounds suspiciously like the well known Jonathan Roberts trip to Las Vegas “midget? what midget?” blackout defense).
Under suspicion because……..he is a shark. (Note to DA: make sure the investigation is not tainted by charges of species profiling).